Tag Archives: Motivation

Anger is Power

Anger, is often powerful. It is internalised, rising lava. We’re all prone to our eruptions in one way or another.
Some breakdown under the weight of it all, some focus that energy, and channel it through means of their own.
Anger, at its best. Is the purest rawest emotion next to grief and potentially, love. Anger goes deep in to psychotic realms when things have finally gotten too much; you know when you punch through multiple doors, break knuckles, break everything? Those classic days eh?
Smash smash smash smash! And almost as if you had just had a horrific orgasm, you land back in reality, with damaged goods all over the place, regret running rampant in your brain, the physical pain, the exhaustion all feeding back in to that vicious cycle.
What a wild mechanism we have, a radical means to survive that is sure enough to set you in to a berserker trance. Nowadays anger is caused often by things less life threatening than another tribe attempting to trample yours. Anger is dangerous, extraordinarily so, like the nuclear bomb! But hey, from it we gained a valuable energy source. (Not so win-win but just go along with me here).
So to all you stress heads and those who fret, there must be a way to shift the balance, and we should attempt to swing the paradigm in our favour, take the bull by the horn and wrestle it into submission until we can ride it away in to our mushroom cloud sunset.

Let it be known I’m no expert on anger, I’m just an expert at being angry from time to time.
So let’s consider this, that anger is power. Anger is power, it is equally chaos(I love that word). Born in Jealousy, sadness, confusion, disorientation. You name it, it stems from something if not everything. It grows gradually, it is justified as much as a sneeze is and there is a place for it in the
universe.
It must happen, anger must be. There are many people with whom it may never fully flourish, the pure souls and the strange ones. Or those who have seen the extent of what their anger can do try in earnest to tame the beast. I am talking in a general sense here; Some become violently angry and assault people, some violently and destroy property. Some spend their life weaving the anger through racism, anarchy or general anti-social, self-destructive behaviours cultivated over years and dispensed in one way or another. To which the said person/beast has at some point justified their actions, which is natural, we have to in order to survive, to be able to cope with what we did and
how we move forward from these points.

But nonetheless, it doesn’t matter what made you angry, it just matters what you do with it.
We have to, anger is fierce and out of control. We see new angles on ourselves when really pushed forth into that desperate unknown; that little piece of us that is incredibly powerful and is snapped in to action by a host of chemical, psychological, personal and often social factors. It takes a lot out of you to get THAT mad. When you really fucking lose it. And for many I think some justification is a thin streak of gold to cling to. If it were unjustified then yes, it’s a little crazy at first. I’ve had many questionable outbursts of destructive behaviour that I am still trying to justify to myself to this day. Mounds and heaps of regret. At university I broke eight (or more) doors and other belongings all because I lost all my marbles multiple times over things I understand more now. And for me that was it, I wasn’t coping with a lot of change going happening. Life was a speedboat thundering its way down a thin canal in a beautiful ball of hellfire. It was easy to forget all those things that kept the demons at bay or expelled them.

Anger is instinctive in many ways; like the sneeze it can only be held back for so long. But we are good at doing that, we deal with our angers – most of us – with fine outlets. Sports are a number one. Numero Uno. Anger generates a mad energy, a scratch that can’t be itched, it is futile trying to reason with it.
So let us put it somewhere. This revved up motor needs a speedway to blaze across, where is your speed way?
Where is the physical scream your body yearns for?
Do you ride a bike? Gym? Run? Paint? Play video games? Where does it all go when things get too much?
It’s important to remember these outlets in your moments of blind red rage. It’s not easy to go ahead and get them off the ground, it is also extremely easy to forget that you have passions and you have places to put it.

Anger is adversity and adversity has only ever done one thing, separate the weak from the strong. A lot of people won’t have to face adversity because when confronted with illness, personal challenges or discomfort. They seek the distractions. The booze, women, men, The X Factor or a new purchase, new pill from the doctor; temporary fixes with long term consequences.
The anger is still there you know, that usual distracting crap that only takes away time from you and brings you back in to blind comfort.
In comfort we never grow, adversity is a cause for change and thus makes room for an evolution of the self, which is a terrifically difficult journey to embark on. When things start feeling particularly rough, don’t go for those easy comforts that are so accessible, don’t even consider sitting on that sofa one second longer, don’t get in to bed, don’t turn on the TV. Get up, get out and look around at all your options, and realise you have many.

If you see a storm on the horizon, and the road is long, and there is no light at the end of the tunnel. Get up get up get up and go and finish whatever it is you started a year ago, today.
Finish that project, START that project. Go and run until your legs can carry you no more and your eyes sting from the tears.
Go write it out, go punch a bag, count to ten and then count again and funnel all the madness in to something other than self-destruction and the destruction of all that is around you.
And then you’ll realise that anger, as recurring as it may be, is transient, a passing storm and nothing permanent. Only when you go ape shit do you truly prolong the anger, objects and memories of your warpath, the trail you blazed and all for what? Anger? Come on, we are all better than that.

When you’re out there, crunching down the great big doom and gloom in whatever way you deemed appropriate, remember those things that got you angry enough to go out and crush it all with productivity. Keep replaying those moments that drove you so insane, visualise them and blast them apart with every inch and fibre of being you have to spare.
Do it again and again and again.
No one is saying it’s a cure, no one says this will fix the problems.
But if the problem has converted itself in to anger, and anger manifests itself in ferocity and energy, then take all that energy and convert it further, you’ll be surprised with what you can do.

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The Fear

Where has the motivation buried itself?

I’ve got to say, laziness is mighty deadly; but more so, as is written in Frank Herbert’s super classic Dune:

‘Fear is the mind killer…’

It was an odd place to find relatable notions of ethics, morals and personal philosophies.
But upon finishing it a week or so ago I’ve had opportunity to think over this gargantuan space opera of sci-fi delights wrapped within mythology, theology and prophecy; and I must say, it casts a flirts in a romance of oh so very deep philosophical and existential pursuits, cause and effect.

Fear is crazy. It’s a senseless rebellion against you.

It’s natural, but that doesn’t stop it from being rather crazy, frantic like a cat trapped in a room with a hundred Henry hoover’s switched on high. (The Henry hoover is an English domestic staple).

It’s one of our prominent survival instincts, fear, not Henry...It keeps us alive. Or perhaps,  (I use this word ‘perhaps’ far too much)…or at least that what it was previously for, you know In times of matters of daily life and death. (I use brackets and italics too much too)

Those times of constant violent fight or flight situations have been on the steady decrease for a while, with the occasional hiccup or nuclear hiccup; contrary to popular belief or perception, we are moving toward more peaceful times, it will be a while before we are ‘truly’ there though.  What we face now is fear or shattering the ‘self’ the ego, which is a perilous

Now it prevents us from such basic things as approaching that desired man or woman or both or a combination of the genders, it prevents us from applying for that job or taking that chance. Whatever the fuck it is!

It sounds cheesy and corny but it does, we all fear doing something. THAT very something, most of the time.

You know, THAT PLAN…

Fear declares our dreams dead on arrival often at the first consideration of failure; so we convince ourselves in our infinite pride and fragile ego, don’t change. Don’t even attempt it.

Don’t you dare motherfucker!

True motivation is sapped efficiently by fear; I for one am terrified of not only trying but to really put 100% of me in to something and put up for everyone to see, especially something as intimate as writing. Fuck me.

What will people think of me? There are twisted things that make the page but only that far.
And that’s a big one for me – massive pussy, yes.
It’s definitely a cliché, everything is, even saying that. And that probably etc. etc.
How do you put yourself out there?

(Start a semi-anonymous blog for a start)

Walk in to the hellfire rain of bullets that is the 21st century system, the information age, the weirdest fucking time of all time ever. 2016 is testimony to how strange things really are getting. Almost contradicting previous point.

But walk on, and be liquified and born again, and again, and again, and again.
People are mean, everyone is mean, you’re a fucking mean cunt. We all are! Let’s be mean and not be sensitive just fucking take the shit you get thrown at you, bag it up for later. Then get your own shit and throw it back if it makes you happy.
Shit slinging IS the internet so you’ll have all sparring partners you could possibly want 24/7. Or you could just think about it, in this context. It is a person, behind a keyboard. That’s it.

Fuck the crowd right?

So to all the twenty-something year olds stepping out into the world, maybe fresh graduates: There is no shame in not knowing what to do in life.
Who is to blame you?
Holy fuck, you know are there too many choices, industries, companies – and maybe not quite enough stock of those dream opportunities; for every day we sit back not shooting for our stars, someone else somewhere has their sites trained on your dream. It’s theirs too.

What do you want?

What do you need?

Health? Wealth? Youtube fame? Insta-model? Nice cup of coffee and oral sex? Fat bags of green and a Playstation 4?

Have you got a start up that is ready to take on the modern market?
You know what I’m talking about.
THAT PLAN.

Yes, let us talk about it.
No, no. I insist, its better this way.

We need to talk about that plan honey. Let us place hands on each others’ knees and share adoring glances for security comfort. Kiss me.
For me, writing is heavily tied to THAT PLAN. But does this effort right here right now contribute to that? Probably not. Most likely not at all. It’s not enough to me; I should be recording daily, scripting daily, reading and writing thousands of words every week.

Produce copy, send everywhere. Produce copy, send everywhere.

I often have a hard time keeping the attention span or keeping the faith in the ‘PLAN’ to want to write or keep up with these long ones. Especially on a given topic; the ones that don’t get finished are the ones I consider real work, and typically have evaded for a while. Sometimes, occasionally paying them attention and cowering upon realising there is much ticker-tackering to be doing on the old QWERTY keyboard there; thus convincing myself there was no point in the first place.

I should be spending every other hour I have spare away from the day job chasing
THAT PLAN. Giving it the attention it needs, dive the fuck in headfirst.
That’s what needs to happen. But by Christ I don’t have the power! Excuses, not true, sometimes true.

THAT PLAN.

What a tough cookie.
An ever changing double-what-the-fuck chip cookie. Cluster crumble fuck of a cookie.
Or a cluster fuck crumble. Either.

THAT PLAN is so hard to execute, the discipline and patience are the only real key and well, if you have it, i.e  you can make it, and if you don’t you keep doing what you’re doing, but never lose faith and never stop doing it just because it didn’t make you rich and famous. Not being bitchy, but this is just how we are becoming in this day and age. We are so used to overnight successes, even the losers of big game shows eventually win. We are a society obsessed with personality, the west especially.

We ‘see’ or perceive the rapid rise and fall of so many celebrities that it almost feels like a lottery, some may think that is just how it is. That is how it goes. You either get to be in the club or you don’t.

I’m not quite sure that is the case – there are more lanes opening up all over the place in this information age. Sometimes it feels like there is no point to even trying, the world is saturated with dreamers, but fuck it! You just have to go and do it. It’s never easy its fucking shit and it hurts but it needs to be done. You can tell I’ve hit a positive frequency today, it’s almost disgusting.

Even those fifteen-minutes-of-fame fuckers took a chance, did it and got ALL the hate available. So why don’t you go get yours and go beyond that ceiling of imagination, take it up a notch.

Everyone is trying to get THERE and you and I are stuck HERE.

Where we can get the ticket to catch that ride is anyone’s guess; so start walking and hopefully, make it there regardless of how we do it.